Tim and Emi were spending some quality father-daughter time before he left for work this morning. They were putting together a Disney princess puzzle, and discovered that we were missing two pieces. Later in the day, I was clearing the kitchen table when I noticed something: Emi had taken a piece of paper, traced the shape of the missing pieces, then colored them in so she could complete the puzzle.
What the hell. It has never occurred to me to do that before. I'm outsmarted by a 5-year-old.
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It seems like someone has learned how to answer questions in complete sentences. Also, his answers are more sober. He still does silly and crazy stuff most of the time, but my little boy is beginning to show more of his serious side. With a better memory and more sophisticated moral code, he now feels glimpses of unease and regret. It breaks my heart, but I simultaneously feel lucky to be around to see him develop. Last year's responses listed below this year's.
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
7: My perfect happiness is when we have the families together and we're playing on the beach.
6: When I be a good student [sic] and I learn a lot of stuff.
2. What is your greatest fear?
7: "Indiana Jones"...I'll never watch it again in my whole life.
6: About fighting a bully!
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? (explained as a bad habit)
7: Cracking my knuckles.
6: Like when I don't win a game or something, then I get jealous.
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others? (explained as a bad habit other people have)
7: Argue
6: Well, C-- likes to fight a lot of the time, and this boy that has freckles all over his face with a cap on, he's a little bit mean.
5. Which living person do you most admire?
7: Well, Justin Bieber's kinda cool. He was only a teenager when he started singing.
6: Well, D--'s halfway because he's half kind and half silliness. And Ca-- is the same too. And F-- too. And E-- and K--. And the two chicks. And Daddy. And Emily. And you. And myself.
6. What is your greatest extravagance? (explained as most expensive thing you like to do)
7: Reading "The Complete Calvin and Hobbes." That was pretty expensive.
6: To play with my little laptop thing. It's not the baby one, but the blue one. And there's like 22 games that you can play, but some of them are just telling you just some words and stuff.
7. What is your current state of mind? (explained as how do you feel right now)
7: I feel excited because I have all these exciting thoughts in my head.
6: Happy.
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? (explained as something people think is really good, but isn't that great)
7: Bakugan. They're only just little spinning tops with a ripper.
6: At my archery classes and at my abstract I'm not very good.
9. On what occasion do you lie?
7: If I'm gonna get in really really big trouble.
6: I lie on Mr. Dan [his summer camp counselor] one time and I lie to my parents a lot too.
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
7: Well I don't really know how to smile that good.
6: When my toes fall asleep, it hurts.
11. Which living person do you most despise?
7: C---. Because he always fights for checkers.
6: SKIPPED
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
7: They have different skins and it looks like a little rainbow.
6: I like boys that are nice and kind.
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
7: They're stylish and they look kinda beautiful.
6: I like girls who share jokes but not a lot and not laugh too much.
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
7: The word "like." I say "like like like" almost in every sentence.
6: Like, a, and I, and me. And my.
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
7: F---. Although we are keeping it a secret. Everyone wants us to kiss.
6: Maggie?
16. When and where were you happiest?
7: At Knott's Berry Farm when we went on the Log Ride.
6: Hawaii.
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
7: The talent of being king.
6: Archery.
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
7: My smile. It's just kinda fake.
6: To not lie.
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
7: My greatest achievement is going on the iPad on Casey's Bedroom.
6: Being a grown-up boy.
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
7: It would be a spy because I think they're so secret.
6: To be a hawk. Because I want to be like an animal that can eat a lot of food because I'm always hungry!
21. Where would you most like to live?
7: Alaska because I want to see snowstorms.
6: When I'm the animal? No? Um, in a haystack. Or maybe a straw house.
22. What is your most treasured possession?
7: "The Complete Calvin and Hobbes."
6: My Leapster 2 game!
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? (explained as what is the saddest thing you can think of)
7: My whole family except my sister dying.
6: When the ant died in "Honey I Shrunk the Kids". [editor's note: he BAWLED at the scene where the ant died defending them against a scorpion. It was so incredibly sweet at the time, but I couldn't believe he remembered it!]
24. What is your favorite occupation?
7: Go to school.
6: To just read books and do games.
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
7: People remember my hair color. Everyone thinks it's black. [editors note: it's actually quite light brown.]
6: I have the same hair as you.
26. What do you most value in your friends?
7: That they look forward to meeting me.
6: When I play with them in the pool.
27. Who are your favorite writers?
7: Bill Watterson
6: Eric Carle who wrote "The Very Hungry Caterpillar."
28. Who is your hero of fiction?
7: The Justice League
6: Phineas and Ferb.
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
7: In my opinion, I don't know. Everyone looks different than me.
6: SKIPPED
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
7: Daddy and you. Because you stop me from crossing the street without looking both ways.
6: Well, you're a hero. And Daddy's a hero. And a lifeguard's a hero.
31. What are your favorite names?
7: Jack is a pretty popular name. And Callisto which is pretty rare.
6: Tristan, Mr. Dan.
32. What is it that you most dislike?
7: I don't get to meet up with F--- that much. But she still loves me.
6: When my little sister accidentally does something bad.
33. What is your greatest regret? (explained as something you wish you could have done differently)
7: Do every question on every math test correctly.
6: When I lied to Mr. Dan.
34. How would you like to die?
7: Peaceful.
6: I don't wanna die!
35. What is your motto? (explained as what do you tell yourself over and over)
7: "Never give up."
6: I have a helping hand.
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Here are Emi's responses to the Proust Questionnaire this year. Sadly, many of her ideas have crossed over to more mass media-influenced themes, but she seems to have retained some of her whimsy (ref: #12 and #13). Also, I may have to ask her pre-K teacher about any kicking going on at school. :P Age 3 answers are listed below this year's responses.
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
4: Unicorns.
3: Children!!!
2. What is your greatest fear?
4: Dragons.
3: [Quietly] The green man.
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? (explained as anything bad she does)
4: Pick my nose and kick my friends
3: The green children.
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
4: Kick me and doesn't like me.
3: I don't like hamburgers.
5. Which living person do you most admire?
4: Maggie and Rosie and Cheep Cheep and Mommy.
3: K--! [a classmate at school]
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
4: Blocks.
3: Books!
7. What is your current state of mind? (explained as how do you feel right now)
4: This is boring. [I asked, "So do you want me to stop?"] No.
3: Sad. I wanna go to my school!
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
4: Castles, because there's princesses in there. Sometimes Snow White. She goes with the seven dwarves.
3: Good night time.
9. On what occasion do you lie?
4: When you getting angry at me.
3: About crows.
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
4: That I'm having the wrong haircut. It should be long.
3: (explained as what don't you like on your body) Medicine! Yuck!
11. Which living person do you most despise?
4: My house. I'm just pretending it's alive.
3: SKIPPED
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
4: His body. His body is from God.
3: Angry like Sophie!
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
4: Eyebrows and eyeballs. Because I love womans!
3: Mad!
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
4: My family, my dog, my chickens, and my house.
3: Red! Climbing the bed! Sorry! [I think the last one was because she actually fell on top of me as she climbed the bed]
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
4: Mommy, but not YOU, Daddy.
3: I--! [her best (girl) friend at school]
16. When and where were you happiest?
4: Mom, Dad, Brother, and me, and my dog and my chickens. When we are all together. Remember when I got lost when Mom left? I was so sad and crying tears.
3: Dancing!
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
4: Flying like a bird. And being a Super Kid. Super Kid can stop the bad guys every time.
3: Um, I want...I want... a lollipop.
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
4: My family. I would change you all to unicorns. And I would change myself to a princess.
3: [looking at me like I'm an idiot] My clothes, and my diaper. [maternal note: she wasn't wearing a diaper]
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement? (explained as what are you most proud of)
4: Painting
3: Starfish. And my flag.
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
4: Myself.
3: Giraffe! Because I love giraffes!
21. Where would you most like to live?
4: In a whole house of stickers!!!
3: Houses.
22. What is your most treasured possession?
4: My unicorn.
3: Gold!!!
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
4: Kick push and hit!
3: Potties!
24. What is your favorite occupation?
4: Play with a unicorn.
3: Hurting myself!
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
4: When I make a birthday card when it's my birthday.
3: My painting!
26. What do you most value in your friends?
4: Having fun.
3: Wormies.
27. Who are your favorite writers? (explained as what are your favorite books)
4: "Calvin and Hobbes"
3: "Strega Nona" and "The Legend of Blue Bonnet." [which, coincidentally, are both written and illustrated by the same person, Tomie DePaola]
28. Who is your hero of fiction?
4: Mom
3: Zebras!
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
4: SKIPPED
3: SKIPPED
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
4: Mom
3: Superheroes.
31. What are your favorite names?
4: Emily
3: SKIPPED
32. What is it that you most dislike?
4: Daddy being angry at me.
3: Skunks!!!
33. What is your greatest regret?
4: Hitting and kicking K--. [and old classmate]
3: Moles. [sighs and shakes head remorsefully]
34. How would you like to die?
4: Pushing, kicking, and fighting.
3: Snakes!!!
35. What is your motto?
4: Talk to my teacher.
3: "Giraffe and a half and a rat in a hat."
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I was teased mercilessly as a child. It started in first grade when some older kids at church made fun of my hair (always up in two tight braids) and my clothes (my mom was very much into the matchy-match). The routine was this: after juice and doughnuts, the kids would gather around me and just barrage me with insults until I started crying. And once I started crying, they high-fived each other and called me "Crybaby." That, of course, caused me to cry even more.
Anyway, I could go on and on, but this post wasn't originally intended for me to talk about my past so much; it was meant to set the tone for talking about Isaac's school. Everyday after school he plays kickball with a group of older boys, and I am always so surprised and impressed by the way they treat him and the other younger kids. They make sure everyone has a turn, they cheer the little ones on, they patiently teach the rules to new players, they are conscientious with people standing nearby who don't want to get hit by balls. They do all this while still acting like normal boys their age: their chests involuntarily puff up when girls their age walk by, they hoot and holler when they get a good shot, they can't seem to keep their paws off each other as they jockey for position, and they don't talk to each other besides what is absolutely necessary to play the game.
One time, Isaac caught the ball and an older kid walked over and took the ball from him. The hairs on my neck stood on end: what is going to happen now? Then the kid pointed towards the ground and said, "Hey tall first-grader, your shoelace is untied. I'll hold the ball until you tie it." And sure enough, he handed the ball back to Isaac after he was done.
I sometimes hear things about the girls, that there already are cliques and queen bees, but at any given time there is always a group of warm-hearted girls to hang out with who don't play that game. I don't see absolute rejection or individuals being singled out.
From what I can tell, these kids seem on the whole well-adjusted, healthy, and happy, and it feels amazing to be a part of it, because I know that's not the case in other schools. Something about this school is working, and it gives me hope.
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Talking Carl is an iPhone app that features a wide-mouthed, red monster who records what you say to it, then repeats it back in its own little voice (basically your own voice on helium). We've been playing with Talking Carl for a couple weeks now, and we have noticed that Carl sounds the cutest when repeating a cute voice. For example, my voice isn't that cute, and so Carl sounds like a whiny bitch whose face I want to punch when I talk to him. But with Emi, he turns into a mewling little kitten and it never fails to make me giggle. Here is a taste:
So cute, right? Although it did disturb me that something about Talking Carl made Emi revert to infant babble. So I asked her why she didn't talk to him with words, and she looked at me like I was an idiot and said "Talking Carl doesn't talk like that, Mom. He talks robot."
Geez, well excuuuuuuse me!
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Baskets pre-loaded with gifts from the grandparents Easter Bunny.
We later went to my parents' country club (gag) for Easter Brunch and Egg Hunt. Emi makes full use of the buffet.
The children were both frightened of this Easter Bunny, which was similar to the creepy bunny from Donnie Darko.
The kids waited till The Easter Bunny left to take a piss, then fooled around in his Throne area.
And the Hunt begins!
This is my mom elbow-deep in shrubbery looking for Easter eggs. She was barking military-style orders to Isaac, things like "You can get a better view from above!" and "I'll take this quadrant, you stake out the perimeter!" At one point she cried, “Got an egg!” but she was holding a driving range golf ball. Sigh, my mom rocks.
Emi, Emi, quite contrary.
Easter kiddie putt. Isaac drew a crowd but didn't sink any. So off to golf camp he goes.
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If you want to read about how our friend-making hamburger and hot dog night went, I wrote it up as a guest post at Kimchi Mamas. Lots of interesting comments there as well, it turns out we're not the only dirty hippie Asian family in the world.
And if you want to read a horrific story of What Happened to the Children While Mama Went to Get a Pedicure, check out Tim's sad account of what went down. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
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Ever thought a girl was so cute that you wished you could shrink her and stick her in your pocket? Awesome. Because now you can have your very own geisha!
She tells you the time! You can choose the color of her kimono! She bows and dances when you clap your hands! Tee hee hee!
Thank you, GClue, Inc., for making all our fantasy dreams come true. And big ups to Angry Asian Man for bringing this to my attention. Dancing on Command was one of my favorite courses in geisha school, too bad I totally bombed the Pocket Fitting course. Sometimes I was able to squish myself in there, but my damn wig kept getting caught. Believe me, it is not easy to be such a paragon of Oriental charm and grace! I would explain further, but it would be like trying to pick up a piece of bird feces with one's fingers from the petal of a cherry blossom upon first dew. *covers face with fan*
GONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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