Geisha School Dropout

GIVEAWAY SUNDAY: Happy National Strawberry Month!

May is National Strawberry Month, so YoKids is teaming up with Tom's of Maine on Strawberry flavored goodies!  Starting May 21st, each tube of children's toothpaste purchased on the Tom's of Maine site will come with a coupon for $1 off YoKids Greek organic yogurt. You can also save 20% on your entire order with the coupon code:  YOKIDS20.

Just to be clear, I'm not getting paid for saying this.  I sincerely appreciate that both companies provide high quality, all-natural and/or organic options, and we seriously use their products multiple times a day.  Isaac and Emi grew up on YoBaby yogurt, and now I pack a Yogurt Squeezer in their lunches every day.  We all use Tom's of Maine toothpastes, which have no artificial sweeteners or dyes, are cruelty-free, and come in environmentally responsible packaging.

To promote this special deal, Stonyfield Farm sent me a strawberry-themed goody bag to give away to one of my readers.  It is packed with the following goodies:  Reusable cotton YoKids lunch sack filled with several Tom's of Maine products including a full 4.2oz tube of Silly Strawberry children's toothpaste, as well as samples of their Naturally Dry deodorant and Daily Moisture soap.  The bag also includes FREE YoKids and YoKids Greek coupons (both available in strawberry!), YoKids Greek temporary tattoos (in strawberry AND raspberry!), and YoKids Strawberry-flavored Eco Lips chapstick! 

 

To enter for a chance to win this goody bag, just comment below with your favorite way to eat strawberries!  Mine is chocolate-covered, mmmm....

It's Good to be the Emi (and Giveaway Winner)

This week's random number out of 4 was 1, so congratulations to Erin for winning the Tarte True Blood Book of Shadows palette.  Her sexual fantasies, like mine, lean Sapphic, so I definitely approve. 

Okay, remember about two years ago when I thought Emi was growing up to be a sassafras?  Well, I spoke too damn soon.  3-year-old Emi has got nothing on 5-year-old Emi right when she wakes up.  She definitely isn't a morning person.  

Two recent examples:

Mommy and Daddy were having a boring grown-up conversation in the living room.  Meanwhile Emi wanted to do yet another puppet show.

Emi: “Guys! Enough consequence already, let’s play!”

Dad: Emi! Wake up. What do you want for breakfast?
Emi: Nothing. I’m so sleepy.
Dad: Come on! How about some toast? “Toast is the Most”!!!
Emi: No. “Toast is the Least”. Go away.

And look at the expression on her face.  Tell me that's not the look of total dismissal.  I thought we wouldn't get this from her until she was a teenager!

I swear, she's lucky she's as cute as she is, because heaven knows I would not have been able to get away with that kind of backtalk when I was her age, or any age really.

Also, those of you in Trader Joe's areas, have you guys tried the Fruity-Os?  They are a Fruit Loops knock-off, but they are sooooo delicious, it's not even funny.  Their colors are Pinterest-approved pretty (I assume because they used natural dyes),  they taste like lemon bars, and they stay crunchy in milk.  Our whole family is addicted.

Mother's Day

I don't say it enough, but I really do love hanging out with my kids.  They make me laugh, and their personalities are so vibrant, I can't help but admire them.  But it is getting to be increasingly more difficult to just unplug from all the other responsibilities I have and just enjoy them, undistracted.  On Sunday, I made a conscious effort to "be here now," and hopefully I did right by them.  You never know with kids; their hearts are so big, you can act like any old asshole and they'll love you and make handprint crafts for you anyway.

We had Mother's Day brunch at an adorable boutique hotel near the Queen Mary, and the weather was perfect.  We dined al fresco on all-you-can-eat ceviche, oysters, omelettes, coffee-rubbed beef tenderloin, paella, and of course, mimosas.  It was awesome, and hopefully my mom approved.  Although you never really know with Korean moms either.  

Come to think of it, I spend a lot of my spare brain cycles wondering if I'm a total fuck-up or doing fine in a variety of arenas.   I am good at a few things.  I have impeccable taste in music, I can turn anything into a raunchy joke, I rock at standardized exams, I can bridge the gap between nerds and "normal" people, and I have a good appetite, both literally and figuratively.  None of these things really come in handy when raising small children.  But hopefully one day, there will be an intersection between the curves of Isaac's and Emi's development and my personal skill set, where I can show them that their mom is actually good for something.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: I've been a late bloomer all my life, and parenting is proving to be no different.   So, I'm a pretty mediocre mom for now, but wait until they need to take the SAT man, I'm all over that shit.  

My Week in Review and GIVEAWAY WINNER

Congratulations to commenter #4, Dan, who won the polka dot knife set!  His guess was: 

You the camel 
Tim the penguin
Isaac the snake
Emma the mouse

I actually know Dan "in meatspace" (actually, I knew the large majority of entrants, which made me very happy), so I feel no qualms with ribbing him for getting Emi's name wrong (thanks, Uncle Dan!).  But otherwise, he nailed it, like most of you did.

The story behind the animals was: Emi and her bossy nature.  She commissioned, rather demanded, that her daddy draw us this way one day at a Chinese restaurant.  Her inner world is interesting, no?  I knew I shouldn't have smoked that peyote while I was pregnant with her...

Anyway, I won't be able to really post until later today because all day I'll be chaperoning Isaac's class on a field trip to a science museum!  Zoiks!  So here are some pictures of what happened this week in our little world:

Isaac started to have trouble reading sports scores on the TV, so we took him to the optometrist who confirmed he needs to start wearing glasses.

Tuesday was "Korea Day" at Emi's school, so she went to school dressed in her hanbok!

I made kimbap (basically Korean sushi) with just galbi (BBQ short rib) inside for the kids' snack. They devoured it like locusts. I was impressed.

Yesterday, we went to Little Prince to meet a friend. Isaac spent a lot of the time in their library, which garnered him the adoration of many a Korean Tiger Mom, who then promptly rapped their knuckles on their own kids' heads and said, "Yah! Why can't you be more like this boy!"

 

This is How We Do It

The one meal that defines my family is our quarterly visit to Pacific Fish on Redondo Beach Pier.  We've been going since my family moved to southern California almost 30 years ago, so our ordering system is down to a science.  And because I'm feeling generous today, I shall give you the formula, absolutely free.

(Warning: involves much shellfish, so definitely not kosher)

First course: minor invertebrates

Emperor shrimp sashimi
Steamed baby octopus (Isaac's favorite)
Steamed Manila clams
Steamed jumbo shrimp

 

 

Second course: Maine lobsters and the emperor shrimp heads (fried)

 

 

Third course: Dungeness crabs

 

Fourth course: Mae-un tang (spicy fish soup)

 

(image borrowed from whereiscat.com)

 Fifth course: Churros, funnel cake, ice cream, occasionally cotton candy from other concession stands on the pier

 

In the summer when the days are longer,  we then hop downstairs to the arcade to play skee-ball and ride the tilt-a-whirl, which sometimes results in a sixth course: acid reflux.

 

(image borrowed from fanpop.com)

 

Merry Christmas!

How are your festivities going?  Ours have been a lot of fun, if not a bit, er, demeaning to certain blogging members of the family, ahem.  

Yesterday I found myself squatting over a bathtub at my mom's place, wearing only a shirt and  underwear, in front of my entire family, who were relentlessly laughing at me.  If I had known that my undies would have been subject to public viewing, I would have chosen a different pair that morning.  This one had a large maneki neko emblazoned on the crotch, with Chinese take-out font proclaiming the reader just might "GET LUCKY."  

Of course it's totally ironic and it was on sale at Torrid years ago for two bucks, but that didn't matter as I heard one, two, three snapshots taken as I scrubbed foamy poop remnants off of an increasingly distressed and repentant Maggie.  Why she chose that day to roll around in cat shit, I will never know.  But now we all have this Christmas memory that will never fade, thanks to Tim's digital camera.  Of course I'm not going to post one of his pics, but here is a pic of the underwear floating in whitespace: 

Go ahead and rinse out your eyes.  I'll wait.

Besides mortification, we served up ham, kimchi fried rice, mashed potatoes and turnips, green bean casserole, corn casserole, and crudite with bagna cauda for Christmas Eve dinner.  My sister and I tormented and squabbled with each other while cooking, which made my mom laugh.  Oscar and Maggie loved getting to visit Halmuni and Harabuji's house, lapping up morsels that dropped to the floor accidentally or not-so-accidentally.  A lovely, simple Christmas.  

I wish you and your loved ones a wonderful holiday weekend!

Questions from the Audience #2

jooliyah asks:

What are your favorite Korean snacks?

I am partial to anju-type snacks, especially 쥐포 (dried file fish) and dried squid, the kinda smoky-flavored eggs (삶은 계란) they have at the jjimjilbang, and savory rice crackers, especially these spicy ones that come with peanuts (kaki no tane in Japanese, don't know the Korean name):

And of course, the more meal-type anju like jokbal, dubu kimchi, soondae, etc.!  Oh!  And 팥빙수 (shaved ice), but only if it has fresh fruit on it as well as the red beans, mochi pieces, and stuff.

When's the last time you came to Korea?

It was late May/early June 2009 for my dad's 환갑 (60th birthday).  We went to Jeju Island and visited family members in various parts of Seoul.  We should be making another trip out there within the year.

And top 5 favorite books.

Oh wow, that's a hard one.  It changes all the time, it seems, but the following books are usually up there.  In no particular order,

• East of Eden, John Steinbeck
• 1984, George Orwell
• The Diamond Age: Or, a Young Lady's Illustrated Primer, Neal Stephenson
• Cat's Cradle, Kurt Vonnegut
• The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald

Books that should be up there if only I had the space include The Red Tent, Harry Potter, and The Hunger Games.  :)

Thank you, jooliyah, for the awesome reminders that I need to curl up in bed with some crackers and a good book!  

Little Prince Kids Restaurant Review

Five words for you: Meet me at Little Prince!

Little Prince is a Korean-born chain of kid-centered cafes, and it is basically the healthier, cleaner, saner alternative to Chuck E. Cheese's.  Instead of cacophony, consumerism, and chaos, kids can play in a variety of settings: an indoor jungle gym and ball pit for the more active tykes, a dress-up and pretend play area, and a library.  All areas are supervised by attentive staff who speak both Korean and English, and you can also keep an eye on your little ones from your table thanks to the video camera feeds displayed in the dining area.  Littler kids can stay close to their parents by playing in the middle of the dining area in a quieter, more padded zone.

The menu is eclectic, highlighting Korean-style cafe food.  There is pizza, pasta, and house-made chicken nuggets for the kids, and more sophisticated fare for the parents such as hamburger steak, galbi, ddukbokki, and "grown-up" pastas.  My personal favorite is their kimchi fried rice with cheese, washed down by a couple glasses of their iced coffee.

I am not exaggerating when I say that Little Prince has greatly expanded my social life.  It's the perfect spot to meet up with old or new friends who are in town. 

Do your friends have other kids that aren't quite the same age level as your own?  Send them all on their merry way to play with the unnis/nunas/oppas/hyungs at their own pace.  Chances are, they will start playing with each other as well.  

Is your friend childless, but they would like to meet your kids and hang out with you?  Again, perfect venue: your kids can be around to say hello and be hugged and adored, but then they can zoom off without either party being antsy or nervous.  Then you and your friend can catch up in peace.

They also offer packages for birthday parties, and I think it would be a perfect venue for a dol, or any year up to about age 6.  It's especially handy if you expect a mixed crowd of kids, older and younger siblings, and adults without children.

Food is pretty pricey, but the servings are HUGE.  In addition, you pay a per-hour fee per child.  So, if you are in the southern CA area, you should definitely try it out.  Awesomely enough, Living Social is offering a deal with Little Prince right now (and for the next 6 days).  You get $25 credit for $12, which amounts to 52% off!

Little Prince Kids Restaurant
5300 Beach Blvd. #118
Buena Park, CA 90621 
714-690-1432 

Little Prince website
Facebook page 
Link to Living Social deal

(No disclaimer needed; I'm promoting them purely because I've been there a half-dozen times and I love them.)

Cross-posted on Kimchi Mamas

I Think I'm Allergic to Summer

What is it about summer that brings out the extremes in things?  

Take my garden, for instance: birds, butterflies, and bees flit and flutter past in pairs, reeling under the influence of nectar and hormones.  Every flowering plant is a-flower, every fruiting tree is a-fruiting, and if you stopped right there, you'd be able to write sonnets about how full of life summer is.

However, my eyes see danger and doom.  Our grass has browned, and our chickens miss nibbling on it.  The grapes and tomatoes can barely keep standing under the weight of all their leaves and not-quite-ripe-yet fruit.  Once the fruit ripens, the grapes' leaves will fall and the tomato plants will die.   Food spoils faster both inside and outside the house, thighs get burnt on car upholstery, sweat and oil clog pores and flatten hair.  And of course, the heat is inescapable: it is in the air, the ground, my skin, my eyes.  

The sun, giver of light and life, also doles out pain and disease.  I got sunburned on Monday playing in the pool with the kids, and now I feel flu-like symptoms as my skin starts to peel.  

I feel sorry for my kids: they love the outdoors and don't mind the heat.  Meanwhile, I feel like a BBQ pork bun about to burst. 

Maybe this is why I went through a goth phase, and why I enjoyed living in Seattle when I was 20.  Oy.

Where do you stand on summer?

Fourth of July Flag Cake

Nothing says "Happy Birthday, America!" like a good, old-fashioned flag cake!  The quintessential flag cake is Ina Garten's and it looks amazing, so go there for perfection, but here is my good-enough version.  But hey, it does the job, and I promise it tastes awesome.  

...

Do you doubt me?  You know, some of us got engineering degrees instead of perfecting our pastry skills!  

...

Okay FINE, I admit I could have learned how to cook and bake during all the time I spent dying my hair and listening to depressing music.

ANYWAY, my defensiveness aside, I bet Ina Garten didn't let her kids anywhere near that cake until it was serving time.  In my version, Isaac and Emi decorated the whole thing (except for the icing, that crookedness was all me).

Easy, Good-Enough Flag Cake

Ingredients:

• 1 cake baked in a 9x13" pan (we used 1 box of Dr. Oetker's Organic Lemon Cake Mix)
• 2 pints strawberries
• 1 pint blueberries
• 1 batch of whipped cream frosting (we used this recipe)

Directions:

1. Leave your cake in the pan.  Cool your cake down to room temperature.
2. Wash your fruit.
3. Slice about 1 cup of the strawberries, set aside.   Cut the rest into quarters, set aside.
4. Top the cake with the sliced strawberries, half of the blueberries, and 3/4 of the frosting.  It's okay if you can still see bits of fruit through the frosting, just make sure it's relatively smooth.
5. Scoop the rest of the frosting into a sandwich bag, then make a tiny snip in one of the bottom corners with scissors.  This will be your ghetto cake piper.  Of course, if you have a real piping set, feel free to use it, rock star.  It will come out much nicer than mine!
6. Outline a square in the top left corner of your cake with blueberries, then fill that square in with the rest of the blueberries.
7. Make your stripes by lining up your quartered strawberries end to end, followed by a row of frosting.
8. Take pictures, then refrigerate before it all melts.
9. Serve with beverage of your choice.  Ina would probably mix up some kind of fruity, fizzy champagne cocktail; I recommend beer.

As an extra piece of sunshine, here is Emi with an Independence Day greeting for you all: