My daughter is not who you would describe as a happy girl, and sometimes I worry about that.
But I know she is also often a loving, creative, and playful person, just not all the time, and hardly ever in front of a camera lens.
Maybe I should instead wonder why we expect our children to be "happy" all the time.
But for now, here's to the quiet, serious kids. You are equally beautiful and don't ever have to fake a smile for the camera.
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We interrupt this stagnating front page to bring you some news!
I was honored to speak at a panel a couple weekends ago at Beyond the Bad and the Ugly: the first-ever summit on Asian American stereotypes, organized by Jeff Yang of the Wall Street Journal, hosted by the Japanese American National Museum. Our session was called "Taming Tigers: Stereotypes in Parenting and Education," and it was such a life-affirming experience. My fellow panelists spoke with such heart and wisdom, and the whole room felt like one family.
I also have an essay up on the front page of BlogHer today titled "On Birthday Suits and Birth Rights," a response to Margaret Cho's recent experience at a Korean spa in Los Angeles. It's my first piece that was thoroughly editted by a real-live editor, and I am so floored by how she made me sound like a real writer. Please check it out!
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Congratulations to Dusty for being randomly selected to win the $50 Amazon gift certificate! I will contact you shortly.
Here is Dusty's hilarious use of the word "gorgonize":
Using the word gorgonized is very challenging and spell check says that it's misspelled and it suggested that I should use the word organized instead.
This week's prize is a 450 mL bottle of Shu Uemura brightening cleansing oil. I use this on my face instead of soap or foam to remove make-up and cleanse, all in one step. Retail price is $81, and the reason why I'm giving it away is that one of these puppies lasts me a year, and when I reordered one recently, I didn't realize I had already received one as a gift a few months back. So, might as well share the wealth!
The non-soapiness takes a little bit to get used to, but let's face it peoples: no one's skin benefits by stripping away all the natural oil it creates. Dry skin gets drier, oily skin makes more oil to compensate. These cleansing oils leave your skin clean and baby-bottom soft, and this specific formulation works to even out skin tone and fade sun and age spots.
In order to win, all you have to do is leave a comment below using the latest Word of the Week: BIDDABLE.
Biddable means: easily led, taught, or controlled. Synonym: docile
Example sentence: The pool boy turned out to be the labrador retriever of lovers: biddable and eager to please.
Good luck to all!
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I'll admit it: something about this summer and beginning of the school year has aged me. At least I don't look older than my age, but six months ago, I would have a 90% chance of getting carded for alcohol and a 20% chance of getting carded for an R-rated movie. Now people pretty much believe me when I say I am about to turn 34. That's at least a 13 year age difference in 3 months!
I blame kindergarten and insomnia.
Let's see how I did with last year's birthday resolutions (Spoiler: not that great):
Here are some personal goals I have for the following year of life:
1. Camp outdoors with tents, sleeping bags, the whole nine yards.
We got as far as spending a month's wages at REI to purchase a tent, bags, flashlights, and the like, and we set up camp in the backyard. We lit a lot of fires, so I'm pretty confident we have that part covered when we do actually go camping for reals, but we still are looking for a family who we can camp with for our first time.
2. Travel to a country or state I've never been to before.
Whoo hoo! I went to North Carolina recently for Tim's friend's wedding. Got that one in right in the nick of time. HOLLA at NC vinegar-based barbecue! It rocks.
3. Teach the kids to sing in harmony on a Simon & Garfunkel song.
I did start paving the way for this goal...trouble is, my kids are still a little shaky with singing on key, period. This may be a 5-year goal.
4. Bike from my house to my parents' house via the San Gabriel River Bike Trail.
Haven't tried it yet! I have convinced myself that I need a better bike.
5. Run a 5k!
I walked one on Thanksgiving last year. Then I tried training to run one and tweaked my knee, which gave me just enough reason to stop altogether. Gotta get back on track!
6. Build something with wood (maybe a new coop?).
Nope. And oh, by the way, the chickens died over the summer. Cheep Cheep was maimed by a cat we think, and apparently she crawled into a bag of straw and passed away in there. Then Rosie, without her coopbuddy, wasted away and died a few weeks later. I stood in vigil by her nestside and wept when she gave her last breath, bellowing "You're a good hen, Rosie, you and Cheep Cheep save some worms for me in chicken heaven, I'm so glad you're together again, you beautiful girls!" Not one of my prettier moments, but I loved those damn birds!
7. Work harder to spread the love and help my fellow man. I am admiring the Occupy movement from afar; maybe it's time to lessen the distance.
I took the kids to bring over some blankets and donuts to the people at Occupy Long Beach one weekend morning, does that count? :) On a smaller scale, I have gotten to know my kids more and have fallen in love with them as a result. And there's always fun to be had on Facebook. I am so, so lucky to be able to chew the shit with my friends there.
As for any poignant observations or ruminations, I have none at the moment. I feel a bit like a rental car: just slightly loose in the hinges and in need of an oil change. Can someone bring me some La Mer up in here? Just spread it on my toast, sweetie darlings. Mama needs to get moisturized, mmkay?
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The days seem to be flying past as spring turns into summer. Here's a break-down of what's been occupying our household this season:
1. New Hair
After almost year of lying fallow, my poor noggin finally got some attention. I opted for a dark brown to red ombré, and I really like how it turned out! I can't wait until the more subtle red fades away so I can cast it with something more punky. (PS: I used this coupon for 20% off services at Carlton salons. Feel free to take for yourself!)
2. Another Avatar
The creators of "Avatar: The Last Airbender" have struck a home run again with their new series, "The Legend of Korra." This time, the avatar is a 17-year-old girl from the southern Water Tribe, and I freaking love her. She's brash, hot-headed, stubborn, and confident, which of course reminds me of a certain female quappa member of our household. They even look similar (although Korra has a water bender's trademark blue eyes)! As final proof, I submit to you this clip:
Totally Emi, right? Right.
3. The end of the school year
Speaking of our little avatar, Emi's last day of Pre-K is tomorrow. I am more than a bit weepy at the thought of my baby girl finally graduating from schools that can kick her out! Long live public education, where kids are pretty much stuck there (well, at least without a lot of legalese pomp and circumstance). Whew. A long, long saga will come to a close tomorrow, that's for sure.
4. Barbie
An old friend of mine just left his job at Mattel, and on the way out he snatched a literal trunkload of toys for the kids. I expected Emi to be in Barbie heaven, and she is, but I did not predict that we had another Barbie fan:
So...let me know what you guys are up to! Is school out for you already, and how are you spending your days?
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Okay, Glamazons! Today's giveaway is a Tarte for True Blood eye makeup palette:
I bought this a few months ago and although I've opened the box and looked upon it lovingly many times, I actually haven't used it. So I am giving it away, hopefully to someone who can do it more justice than creepy staring.
The palette contains 17 full-size eyeshadows, ranging from everyday natural to glittery fabulous, primer, aqua gel eyeliner, and mascara. Because it was limited edition, it is no longer for sale in retail stores, but right now it's going for about $80 on eBay.
So, what I want to know is: Which character on "True Blood" would you most like to do bad things with?
You know the deal: Comment below to enter to win! I will randomly draw a winner on Friday. Good luck!
PS: Although I love me some Eric AND Bill, I'd have to go for Pam first. She's so fierce and she swings my way? Jackpot!
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Thank you to Tout for sponsoring this post and encouraging me to share mom’s best advice! Visit the SELF + The Honest Co. + Tout contest on.self.com/MomKnows to share the best advice you received from your mom and enter to win $500 worth of The Honest Company product and a Maya Brenner Designs necklace valued at $200, in addition to having their Tout featured on SELF.com. Additionally, for every response, a donation will be made to Baby2Baby.
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The best advice my mom ever gave me actually started with an insult.
"Julie-yah, since it seems you will always be fat, be the interesting girl...and the one who has the best skin."
Emotional scars aside, I did take her admonitions to heart, and she was right. I am never the prettiest girl in the room, but I am the girl having the most fun, and that grabs people's attention. And by the law of social induction, interesting folk seek out other interesting folk, so pretty soon you're surrounded by an awesome group of fascinating co-conspirators, a few of whom who could not imagine life without you in it, and thus the seeds of romance are planted.
So how does one become interesting? There are a lot of different strategies: you can be funny, be smart enough to be able to help anyone with their homework, become adroit at a hobby, keep up with current events, know a lot about sports and pop culture, or be the car wreck people can't help but slow down and watch (this strategy, however, is risky). Or, you know, be a mix of everything. What's most important is to be someone with an open heart who is sincerely curious about how other people tick, and people will feel good just being around you.
Okay, now on to the skin. It is so, so, so much easier to maintain already-young skin and postpone aging than to try to reverse the clock. Cleanse, moisturize, and put on sunscreen in the morning, and you won't be reaching for the hardcore hydroxy acids in your twenties. For bonus points, go to an esthetician for facials once a month, and you'll be gleaming like a Barbie doll at all times.
Take me for example. I've always been mistaken for being younger than I am, sometimes ridiculously younger. I'm 33 now, a mother of two, and the last time I bought tickets for an R-rated movie, the teenager in the ticket booth asked for ID. I know, that's not that great, in fact it might be a liability to look too young, but I think I'll be happy to cash in on my dermatological fastidiousness when I'm 50.
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Let's see what Jessica Alba has to say:
Thank you again to Tout for sponsoring my post. Visit on.self.com/MomKnows to share the best advice you received from your mom. Fans and readers can reply directly via webcams at www.Tout.com, through Tout’s mobile application, on www.Facebook.com/TheHonestCompany andwww.Self.com/health/mothers-day in addition to other promotional sites. Viewers can watch the entire stream of replies on the Tout widget on http://www.self.com and share their favorites to their Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest pages, as well as by email and SMS.
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This image brought tears of pride and adoration to my eyes. From the Wall Street Journal's Photos of the Day blog:
I've totally had that day, when school or daycare was closed, my back-up sitter was out of town, and I had to come into the office for a meeting or some other face-to-face interaction. I was able to get away with locking the kids up in a spare conference room with a DVD player and some coloring books, but Licia Ronzulli, Italy’s member of the European Parliament, had her (gorgeous) baby girl voting alongside her on Wednesday.
Working moms of the world, unite and take over!
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Thanks to Walgreens for underwriting this post. I was paid as a member of the Clever Girls Collective, but the content is all mine. Visit http://www.walgreens.com/beauty.
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I am a firm believer in natural and organic food and products, but as a mom I just can't bear to spend a ton of extra money trying to create an non-toxic household. Luckily, the market for these kinds of products has grown to the point where you don't have to go to exclusive stores or pay a high premium anymore. In fact, here are some examples of healthy, environmental, and reasonably-priced gifts you can find in your neighborhood drugstore.
For the Kids
I believe it is especially important to provide kids and babies with natural products as much as possible, but often the steeper price tags make us moms a little hesitant to buy organic or all-natural stuff on a day-to-day basis. However, that's also the exact reason why they make great holiday gifts, though!
Here is an example of a bath and body set that is sulfate-free, isn't tested on animals, and has gentle vegan ingredients. I've always thought grapefruit is such a great scent for kids; it's fresh- and clean-smelling, and matches their sunny dispositions.
For Men
This category is super-easy. There is a brand called Every Man Jack that specializes in men's products, and their stuff is vegan and sulfate-free. Best of all, they work really well and they smell great too (although they do have unscented versions of almost all their products for the sensitive guys out there). Every Man Jack makes it easy to introduce the man in your life to the cleansing/toning/moisturizing/sunblock regimen he really should have been doing for years now without overwhelming him. Grab a few skin, hair, and shaving products, arrange them in a shower caddy, and voila, you will have a cleaner, handsomer man!
For the Ladies, Including Moi
My friend got me some Out of Africa products for my birthday last month, and I am a total shea butter fanatic now. It turns out that shea butter is absorbed into the skin much faster and keeps your skin moisturized for so much longer than normal lotions, and my skin looks so much healthier now, especially my hands. I just figured that the little crackles and crosshatch patterns were a result of aging; turns out my skin was just dry! No Parabens, Sulfates, Petrolatums or Phthalates; Cruelty-free and Eco-Friendly. Try it and see if your skin will lap it up like mine does.
While we're on the subject of hands, another recent discovery is non-toxic nail polish. I had no idea it existed until I saw this Keeki Holiday Nail Set online. I am aching to try it out! Manicures and pedicures are two of my favorite ways to unwind and pamper myself, but I always feel uneasy smelling all the chemicals and wondering what they are doing to my nails. My curiosity is piqued.
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Merry Christmas and happy shopping! If you have encountered any other great finds, please let me know!
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My girlfriends and I spent Birthdaypalooza this year in LA. Since I was then the unofficial host and tourguide, I took them to two of my favorite places: Magic Castle and the Korean spa. People might label an evening of drunken flirtation with members of the occult followed by a day of full-monty same-sex nudity with scrub-downs by dour Korean ladies dressed in what can only be described as ironic black lingerie as unorthodox, but then again, they wouldn't know much about me and my girls.
The worst part about Birthdaypalooza is the shock one feels the Monday afterwards. Reality never felt so cruel.
Sigh, I love them all and always will.
Oh! I also owe two of them a limerick.
Ode to Linda
Linda brings boatloads of fun
Her parties are second to none.
My liver's still sickened
From her bachelorette weekend
That happened in 2001.
Ode to Deb
Deb is a dancer and sailor
And so many boys want to nail her!
But they disappoint,
She rejects them en pointe;
Only her groom is allowed to abseil her.
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