Geisha School Dropout

Literacy 1, Mama 0

We are currently raising 3 chickens in our backyard: Rosie, Cheep Cheep, and Dr. Evil.  Chicken husbandry is surprisingly fun and rewarding, since they are smarter and more charming than you expect.  One cute thing they do that tickles me to no end is that even if they are roaming around outside, a few minutes before sunset they will march into their coop and tuck themselves into bed.  It is so cute!

We are using this as a reference book:

Isaac sometimes idly leafs through it, looking at the pictures and trying to read some of the words. Usually the text is just explaining mundane things about the care and feeding of chickens, however he happened to open to a chapter near the end of the book and came across this passage:

He pointed to the picture and asked me what it was for.  I didn't even realize the book had a chapter on slaughtering!  Trying to avoid a difficult subject, I lied and said that this particular chicken seems to have tripped and fallen into a funnel, and it's up to his owner to try to get him out.  "How would you get out of a funnel?" I asked.  You see what I did there?  I turned it into a teachable moment.

He squinted at me suspiciously and read aloud the caption: "Chicken... in a... killing... cone." He looked up, eyes wide. "We're not going to do that to *our* chickens are we?" He pointed to the device and said, "I'm not getting that thing!"

Then he made swooping and grabbing gestures near the chicken's feet in the illustration and said, "I'll get you out of there, Chicken! Don't give up!"

The Good Life

Sometimes I wonder how my life got to be so strange.  It is undoubtedly boring, but there are probably things I do that the average person does not.  This morning I:

1. Woke up, packed Isaac's lunch.
2. Helped Emi get ready for the morning.
3. Lowered the ramp in the chicken coop so the chickens could play in the run.  Filled water and food dishes.
4. Went to the garage with a pair of chopsticks in order to pick out superworms for Rosie and Cheep Cheep's breakfast.  Said "good morning" to the 500 newest members of our family.  I casually sifted through their substrate (chicken mash and wheat bran) to look for any that have pupated, died, or if any of their carrots molded (they need the carrots for hydration).
5. Dumped 16 superworms into chicken run, and giggled as the chickies excitedly gobbled down their meal.
6. Noticed some tasty cherry tomatoes on our vine, so picked and ate a couple before realizing I had not yet washed my hands.  Slapped my forehead with dirty hand.
7. Washed hands.  Forgot to wash forehead.
8. Woke Isaac up and took the kids to the bagel shop for breakfast.  Dropped off both kids at their respective schools.
9. Went home and dialed into a work teleconference.
10. Cleaned out the fridge a tiny bit, pulling out soft and rotten vegetables from the crisper.  Cut vegetables in halves and quarters, and took the tastier-looking veggies outside to the worm composting bin.  Went into the garage for some shredded newspaper and sprinkled over worms and new veggies, then watered.  Placed the rest of the bad food into our bokashi bucket, including some old raw pork.  Doubt that the bokashi will work, but do it anyway.
11. Washed hands, brushed teeth, had tuna salad for breakfast and gagged at the taste.  Decided tuna salad isn't a good chaser to fluoride.  Opted for beef jerky instead.
12. Fed Maggie.
13. Worked.

Even if we have become the crazy pseudo-farming family of the block, I must say I'm pretty happy working for these creatures, big and small.  Here is one of my bigger creatures loving on some of my smallest:

Emi: little ballerina by day, greedy little beetle larvae lover by afternoon.  Babies are complex.

Now it's lunchtime and I'm deciding whether to leave the house to eat and shop for groceries (and enjoy the gorgeous weather, even for a few minutes), or just reheat something and take a shower.  I'm not yet used to the superworms, so I'm feeling pretty icky.  But then again, I'm shower-averse, so here I sit.

How was your morning?

I'm Sorry

Can anyone more Korean than I am tell me the difference between 미안합니다 and 재송합니다?  I tend to favor the latter, but the Internet seems to not use that phrase much at all.  Is it antiquated?

Anyway, regardless of the correct way to say it in Korean, I'm sorry I missed blogging yesterday.  Most likely, however, like Tim asserts, people probably didn't even notice, and if they did, they didn't care.  I hope that is the case.  I care, though, because I'm a stubborn mule and like to finish what I start.  Oh well.

The reason why I didn't blog is because I got kinda drunk last night.  Not anywhere near college frat party level, but I had an Absinthe, an Old-Fashioned, and a Daiquiri at 320 Main, a steak and chops place that looks and acts a little bit like a speakeasy.  The hostess really, really sounded like Betty Boop, and the bartender wore a fedora and really took our drink orders seriously. Ah, mixology as an artform, something that is so depressingly rare these days.  I would love to become a regular there, if only I wasn't legally bound to care for my biological children.  The website looks like it's a fancy place, but it really has a neighborhood bar feel and everyone was friendly and knowledgeable.

We feasted on a grand old leisurely 2.5 hour dinner, where I ate a bunch of carbs (specifically, these FUCKING LEKKER pommes frites topped with slivers of cured duck and caramelized onion, AND they had this dessert called the Cookie Monster, a warm, way-too-buttery-but-come-on-there's-no-such-thing-as-too-buttery cookie with vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and chocolate sauce...totally simple but FRIGGEN FINGER LICKIN').  There was a rib-eye thrown in there for good measure.  Sorry, pancreas.  I am back on the wagon today.  

After a meal such as that, would YOU want to blog about teaching Korean to your children?  Hell, no!  You would do what I did, which was pay the babysitter, kiss the kids good night, grab the vodka from the freezer, head outside, and smoke and shoot the shit with the love of your life and have drunken-yet-enthusiastic intercourse and go to sleep to the sound of your own snoring!

Tomorrow is the last day of July.  I may or may not post, so I'd like to take the time now to thank you for your patience as you slogged through 30 days of mediocre posts!  August will herald the return to a hopefuly-weekly schedule, including a chronicling of the Epic Mang Family Vacation the week of 8/23-8/27.  If you know us at all, you know that we usually spend our vacation time visiting family, but this time, it will just be us 4, stumbling and bumbling our way through the beautiful tropical paradise known as Maui.  It's everyone's first time (except for Tim, who at one point of his glamorous life, lived in Hawaii), so anything can happen.  

Maggie, Rosie, and Cheep Cheep promise to hold the fort.  Yeah, right!  When we come back, there will be mirrors with blow caked on them lying abandoned all over the backyard, and 10,000 eggs.

***UPDATE: My baby sister has corrected my ghetto Korean.  It's 죄송, not 재송.  Oops!

I Love You, Be Quiet

 
Two phrases that come in handy when you have kids, sometimes said one after the other:

사랑해 (sarang heh, I love you)

조용히해! (joyong-ee heh, Be quiet)

Today was kind of a crazy day!  Tim and I stayed up late the evening prior watching the last two episodes of "True Blood" and they really succeeded in spooking me out!  There was blood, gore, torture, psychotic ramblings, interspecies fornication, love and ardor, all the good stuff.

Then we woke up early because the chicks wanted to go to their coop out back.  Within several minutes, we heard all this chattering outside and saw this:

 

You see?  Perched on Emi's "princess chair" is a red-tailed hawk!  Oh, she was gorgeous (I actually don't know if she's a male or female), but very very scary to see!  It turned out that the chattering was actually from our friendly neighborhood squirrel, warning us of the danger.  Thanks, squirrel!  

I walked towards the hawk and she didn't even flinch!  I was 10 feet away and she didn't leave until I shook a broom at her.  We'll have to be extra-vigilant now that we know there are birds of prey just waiting for a chance to munch on some chickies.  And now I don't feel so stupid for spending hundreds of dollars on a chicken coop (as in, "we spent hundreds of dollars to save money on eggs???")! It would have sucked to pick up Rosie and Cheep Cheep's feathers and entrails first thing in the morning.

Then work was crazy, then Emi decided now that she's a full three-and-a-half years old, she's going to stop listening to us altogether, and by the time 5:00 rolled around, I just had to leave the house.  I went grocery shopping and laughed my balls off when I saw a leg of ancient-looking, mummified jamon on sale for $129 a pound.  A POUND.  Apparently the pigs are completely free-range and dine only on the finest grasses and acorns.  I asked the deli guy if anyone bought any yet, and he said usually people buy a few ounces just to try it out, but one person did buy 3/4 pound for a party.  Wow!!!  What recession, right?

Anyway, needless to say I didn't get any acorn-nibbling-pig jamon.

Extra credit lesson: 위스키 엄마한테 던져봐.  (Sorry, Koreans, for my atrocious spelling skillz.  I stopped Korean school after 1st grade.)

Time for Something Squee

I have no real reason to post this video of my kids singing Happy Birthday to their Grandpa.  It is a pure fluff piece, but to me it is such a perfect snapshot of each kid's spirit (at least, what their spirits are right now).  

Emi is the consummate performer running the show.  She doesn't let Grandpa's polite smalltalk derail things, she has a specific script in her mind and she's going to STICK TO IT.  Of course, she doesn't show any diva antics on-camera, perish the thought!   And Isaac is once again dragged into doing something he feels uncomfortable about, but does it anyway, but with a little bit of grumbling and obsessive futzing-with-a piece-of-plastic-hanging-on-a-string thrown in just in case you didn't get the memo that he doesn't feel great doing this.  But he's doing it, are you HAPPY, Mom???

And of course, I adore them both, just the way they are, right now, but that doesn't stop me from chuckling at them and their antics.  So here it is, a real Mang moment of zen:

Squee!

Oh, and in case you're wondering, our chicks are doing great!  Our original Araucana perished, but her replacement is much more robust.  They're practicing their scratch-and-peck skills as I type, as well as running around the box with their wings up.  I think they're trying to fly the coop!  Anyway, I think I will name them for real when they are at a relatively stable point, when I'm not afraid they're just going to keel over any second, but for now their working names are:

 

I hope you have a fantabulous 4th of July weekend!  

PS: My weight loss has slowed, but I'm down 16 pounds!  I am now at my breastfeeding-Emi weight.  10 pounds more and I'll be at pre-Isaac-pregnancy weight, then 20 pounds after that I'll be at college weight.  Egads, that sounds like a long way to go.  But I'm still low-carb, my blood sugar is almost normal, and I feel pretty good.

Interview with Isaac, 6 Years Old

 

(5-year-old answers are listed below current ones.  Last year's interview can be seen here.)

1. What is something mom always says to you?
6: Don't do that!
5: i love you

2. What makes your mom happy?
6: When I don't do anything bad.
5: doing good things

3. What makes your mom sad?
6: When I do something very sweet. I dunno, you don't get sad that much.
5: when i (Isaac) get mad at you

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
6: By making up jokes.
5: when i ask a silly question

5. What was your mom like as a child?
6: A little bit rough but likes to play with her friends.
5: she was like me!

6. How old is your mom?
6: 32?
5: 43

7. How tall is your mom?
6: 3 feet?
5: 3 tall on the top

8.What is her favorite thing to do?
6: To just work all day!
5: work!

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
6: You take Emily to school and then Marysa come and then you pick her up and then just playing.
5: work

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
6: Making a lot of money?
5: i don't know!

11. What is your mom really good at?
6: Working
5: doing art

12. What is your mom not very good at?
6: Not really good at doing a somersault
5: you can't draw birds

13. What does your mom do for her job?
6: Try to make money
5: work

14. What's your mom's favorite food?
6: Eggs?
5: beef

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
6: To make sweet stuff to her
5: when i give you a present

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
6: Candace from "Phineas and Ferb." Because you always try to bust me!
5: julie

17. What do you and your mom do together?
6: Make stuff and play together
5: have fun playing ball together

18. How are you and your mom the same?
6: Well, we have the same hair and we have the same skin color and you have the same stuff as me.
5: we're both grown up

19. How are you and your mom different?
6: By you wearing glasses and you're bigger than me and you paint your toenails and you have a ring and we have different shirts. That's it.
5: you're big and i'm short

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
6: Because of your singing and dancing
5: because i love me

21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
6: To Hawaii!
5: hong kong