I don't say it enough, but I really do love hanging out with my kids. They make me laugh, and their personalities are so vibrant, I can't help but admire them. But it is getting to be increasingly more difficult to just unplug from all the other responsibilities I have and just enjoy them, undistracted. On Sunday, I made a conscious effort to "be here now," and hopefully I did right by them. You never know with kids; their hearts are so big, you can act like any old asshole and they'll love you and make handprint crafts for you anyway.
We had Mother's Day brunch at an adorable boutique hotel near the Queen Mary, and the weather was perfect. We dined al fresco on all-you-can-eat ceviche, oysters, omelettes, coffee-rubbed beef tenderloin, paella, and of course, mimosas. It was awesome, and hopefully my mom approved. Although you never really know with Korean moms either.
Come to think of it, I spend a lot of my spare brain cycles wondering if I'm a total fuck-up or doing fine in a variety of arenas. I am good at a few things. I have impeccable taste in music, I can turn anything into a raunchy joke, I rock at standardized exams, I can bridge the gap between nerds and "normal" people, and I have a good appetite, both literally and figuratively. None of these things really come in handy when raising small children. But hopefully one day, there will be an intersection between the curves of Isaac's and Emi's development and my personal skill set, where I can show them that their mom is actually good for something.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this: I've been a late bloomer all my life, and parenting is proving to be no different. So, I'm a pretty mediocre mom for now, but wait until they need to take the SAT man, I'm all over that shit.
