And This is Why I Married Him, Folks

Tim is flying off to Japan today.  Ships in the night, we are!  Since he's on my mind, here is just a little example of the kind of guy he is:

So, let's rewind to a few days ago when I first posted my limericks for Kathy and Huong.  I get an email from Tim entitled "Pedantic Poem Police," with the following contained therein:

This doesn't quite scan:

Huong has a great big set of hooters
Which attract an army of suitors

It should be more like:

Huong has a huge set of hooters
Which attract an army of suitors

Note the stress on atTRACT. Due to that internal beat in the word, the reader has to skillfully insert a micro-pause after "attract" to nail the phrase-wide lilt.  

Which attract {micropause} an army of suitors

With that in mind, it's more rhythmically fool-proof to deploy "SUMmon":

Huong has a huge set of hooters
Which summon an army of suitors
 
That said, you can make "attract" similarly foolproof if you do something like this:

Huong has a huge set of hooters
Which attract her an army of suitors

He didn't stop there, though!  Twelve minutes later, he sends:

Ok on re-reading, I surmise you're reading it like this:

Huong HAS a great BIG set of HOOters

Which A-ttract an ARmy of SUItors

That doesn't read naturally the way standard examples do, I think again because "attract" is naturally stressed on the 2nd syllable.

A standard example:

There ONCE was a LA-dy named ANN

etc

So it'd be something like:

Dear HUONG has a STAggering RACK

For WHICH suitors QUEUE front and BACK

etc

 

Argh!  In 12 minutes, he not only greatly improved my (admittedly slapdash) limerick, he made up a different one that is SO much funnier than my original.  Two snaps up for the total pwnage, Tim!

Also, not only does this man know what he's talking about when it comes to the criticism of fine poetry, he also jams to shit like this:

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All that, and he's cute to boot:

Melt!

Okay, now back to our regularly scheduled programming of bitching and ho-ing.