Emi's ballet school is having their yearly recital next month, but tomorrow is picture day, which means full costume, hair, and make-up. If you know me at all, you will know that all three concepts are extremely foreign to me, so I am more than a bit panicky.
The required hairstyle is half-up ponytail, which I know how to do, thank Jeebus, but in curls. Although her hair is naturally wavy, her teacher requested I curl her hair to match the other girls. Emi doesn't sit still very well, so hell to the no at the prospect of wielding a 500-degree curling iron anywhere near her face, so I thought maybe rag curls would do the trick. They sound easy enough: dampen the hair, wrap around a rag, tie the rag tightly at the scalp. Simple, right?
But spread my asshole and call me Mrs. Goatse, I can't do it right. She's whining and squirming, I'm moaning as I'm throwing my back out trying to hold her still. The hair is slipping out, especially at the ends, and I have no idea how these rags are going to last until the morning.
But at least she looks cute as a rag doll!
Ugh, I'm very sorry, little girl, that you are an elf princess borne of the womb of a hobbit.
