Dear Tim and Julie,
Today's meeting is to address my continuing concern regarding Emily's behavior. Concerning behavior is as follows:
1. Screaming/grunting/whining to obtain needs/wants
2. Screaming/grunting/whining due to not getting what she wants
3. Screaming/grunting/whining due to not wanting to do something asked
4. Screaming for abnormally long periods of time
5. Throwing things in anger/frustration
6. Shouting "NO!" and refusing to comply with/to teachers
7. Continuing to seek/use the pacifier when problem arise
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God, doesn't Emily sound like a total shit or what? And, at the same time, she sounds like she's 2.
But wait:
This behavior has been observed and addressed not only by me, but by the 4 substitute teachers that have worked in the schoolhouse as well as parents of other students within our school family. Our students have been affected by this behavior both emotionally and physically.
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Doesn't that sound horrible? She is inflicting more damage to her fellow classmates than the CIA is supposed to inflict on terrorism suspects. There is now a huge line in the sand: SHE IS HURTING THE OTHER KIDS, YOU FUCKS, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?
At home, Emily definitely does the things listed above, but not to that scale, not to the level where we would think she was abnormal. She definitely acts worse in school. Her teacher chalks it up to us coddling her, or undoing the lessons she's teaching her. Or maybe it's because Emily feels loved and listened to at home. I have no idea.
When Isaac was her age, he went to daycares where he became part of a family. This place is more like a school, full of things they are only allowed to touch at certain times, and only in certain ways. There's no room in the schedule for a willful, bellowing whirlwind. Plus there's a philosophical disconnect: When I see Emily at her worst, I see spirit; her teacher sees disrespect. How does one reconcile that?
I think it might be time to start looking for a better place for Emily.
PS: To explain why I am so angry and defensive, it's because it hits so close to home. I was probably like this too...and my mom dealt with it the only way she knew how: she beat it out of me. Even doing that, though, it still took a few years. And it took me even more years to heal from that and get my spirit back. So yeah, there's more than a bit of projection going on.
