Dear Sherry,
It's been 2 weeks now. In your memory, I got to reconnect with some of our old friends, and when we were hanging out at TGI Friday's the evening of your service, I kept thinking that you should have been there, sipping on champagne and smoking a cigarette like a supermodel, putting people in their places when they started acting uppity.
You were my first friend when I started at my new school in 4th grade. Thank you for reaching out to me, for coming to my birthday party when you didn't know me for that long. You also lost your dad that year, and shortly after that you became my first bully. At the time I was too hurt and confused to know why, but now I see that you were angry at me for still being a starry-eyed, happy-go-lucky baby when you were forced into maturity too early. I couldn't join you on that journey, and for that I am sorry.
In high school, you were the queen bee of the alternative kids. You and your friends were the most beautiful girls in our class, a living Benetton advertisement, way too cool for us nerds. Always with precociously impeccable taste, years ahead of everyone else in regards to music, fashion, hobbies. Come to think of it, you were possibly the only truly interesting person in our class. Everyone else was still so cautious and eager to please, not ready for the real world, still kids in that way.
I remember Hollywood. Countless nights driving up the 101, singing along to Britpop anthems, getting off on Sunset, winding down that great boulevard with nothing but a pack of cigarettes and a desire for adventure. You knew all the bouncers, and the ones you didn't know let us in anyway. Once inside, you picked out the men and boys who would become our patrons for the evening. In spite of the booze and recreational drugs, it was seriously good, clean fun (as clean as LA gets, I suppose). It was a gift to see you laugh and enjoy yourself. I enjoyed being your wingman, thank you for the memories. In my mind, that stretch of Sunset will always be yours.
I'm sorry I didn't keep in touch. I had so many demons to face between then and now, I'm sorry I couldn't help you with yours. Another journey I couldn't follow you on.
I'm sorry,
Julie
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Elegy:
Come as you are sweetheart, come as you are
You know you've got nothing to prove
I'll put you to bed, you can let it all go
You've been playing too rough lately
You burn too bright
You live too fast
This can't go on too long
You're a tragedy starting to happen
Just as you are, perfect just as you are
I'll give you the time you deserve
Don't make those promises
Don't tell me again
That dust is gonna settle your nerves
You burn too bright
You live too fast
This can't go on too long
You're a tragedy starting to happen
